“The iceberg is melting rapidly. So very sorry.”
Recently, I had an unforeseen hiatus for many weeks. I didn’t anticipate it, but thankfully it was useful. I learned several things, and also unlearned a few more things. What is the saying? — Nothing is wasted.
Initially I wrote several paragraphs explaining the reasoning for this post. I omitted it. We, global humanity, are solidly in “the no screw-around zone”—and we have so much to unlearn.
A small list of things I have UNlearned:
• All humans are born intrinsically bad—in “original sin”, inherently flawed. We deserve punishment, toil, control, pain.
• Torture, from any source or in any situation, is utilized to gain information.
• Governments care about their people and act on their behalf, as they claim. It’s the difficult machinery of power which makes it seem otherwise.
• We are alone. Not only in the universe, but on this planet.
• Authority is earned, not bestowed, so of course we should obey it.
• Altruism is unnatural. It is rare, and when it seems to happen—it’s a fluke, or it’s fake.
• We should not do or say anything that makes someone else uncomfortable. Why? Because we are responsible for everyone else’s emotions. But not our own.
• Most human beings know what love actually is.
• If we make mistakes, we should be ashamed. It confirms how flawed we are. In fact, we should just be ashamed of ourselves, period.
• Knowledge is a commodity, and it must be paid for dearly. It should only be possessed by a few.
• Our firsthand experience is only real if experts agree with it.
• War is a necessary evil.
• Most people are aligned in integrity: as they think, as they feel—so they speak and act.
• All we need is endless compassion and tolerance. This makes us, and everyone, good people.
• All we need is total skepticism and crystal-clear dividing lines. This protects us.
• We are taught the truth: in the hard sciences, history, anthropology, medicine, politics, psychology, biology—all fields.
In a world of lies and half-truths, all forms are vague and seem potentially monstrous.
What is real? What is true?
What are “crisis actors”? Who benefits from people in constant anxiety? What is trauma? In the R-complex of the brain, what is “freeze” mode?
Where have all the missing trillions of dollars gone?
What is knowing, and what is belief? How do we tell the difference? What is confirmation bias?
What purpose does distraction serve?
There will always be questions. Obtaining answers, and how we get those answers, has become critically important.
All photos in this post are of Antarctica.
I welcome any comments about things you’ve unlearned. Unlearning and critically revisiting belief systems clears the way for new information—which can be shared, considered, and we all can gain.
As I believe love is experienced subjectively I feel that one knowing “what love really is” depends on their interactions with those they have been fortunate enough to form bonds with that have not abused that bond for their own gain.
A fellow do not credit with great wisdom told me that a relationship is simply two people mutually using the other. I prefer to think relationships ought to always be in service to another, this way we are always given what we need. I feel that it could be our inability to accept another human as something we “need”. A prideful exclusion but it helps keep us internally “independent”.
just a random opinion on one thing you Unlearned. I agreed with your opinion on most of these half truths imparted unto us from our beginnings.
Yours is the first reader post here at KindlingFire David, and I appreciate hearing your feedback. Thanks for the thoughtful comment—and I hope you’ll share your thoughts whenever you feel inspired to do so.
I agree we all experience subjectively what we call “love”, based on our experience from birth (including what we’re taught/told), and our baseline personality. It’s also true that this word, and concept, is thrown around pretty haphazardly: we love ice cream, we love our partner, and we loved that concert we went to last week.
I am one of those “humans who [doesn’t] know what love actually is.” Fortunately, once I was willing to give up the assumption that of course I knew—how could I not, right?—then I became able, finally, to examine all the confusion and contradictions and total misunderstandings about “love” which I’d acquired. Still in process, of course. For me, I had to first untangle the countless things that love is not. Until I did quite a bit of that, I didn’t have the space within, so to speak, to start discovering what love actually is. But it’s happening.
Concerning the example of the person you described in your comment—I’ve heard the “mutual use” view of love before. It is an oxymoron. That’s not about love at all, not even the misguided version(s) we get through our mainstream culture—although some people are incapable of anything more. Great that you’re aware of that.
I think your idea of service to another (and in different ways, to all others) is much more what love is about. That connects with empathy, valuing another, and giving freely without any guarantee of return. We need to love ourselves too, as much as we love others. Surprising how hard that is, really, for most of us. But I guess it shouldn’t be since we’re taught so many contradictory things about ourselves and love and life in general.
I’m planning to focus on this topic more in the future, although I haven’t nailed down specific dates yet. I welcome your contribution anytime David, on this subject or any other. Take care.